THE PORTRAYAL OF OLDER ADULTS IN THE WRITINGS OF CHARLES DICKENS [ PARTONE]

 AN INNOCENT ABROAD, A CARING FATHER and an OLD SPINSTER: Portrayals of age and ageing in Pickwick Papers.

[1st Instalment] 

In the early hours of Tuesday 21st April 1836 Robert Seymore, a popular and well-known artist who having convinced publishers Chapman and Hall to print a series of Cockney Sporting engravings, accompanied by a narrative by another, shot himself in the head.

The previous evening he had met for the first time the young Charles Dickens who had been commissioned to write the text and his wife Catherine at their Furnival lodgings to discuss the author's concerns about Seymore's illustrations of "The Strollers Tale" which Dickens had found "not to his liking". 

It has been argued by many of Dicken's biographers that this was a social rather than a business meeting, but the fact that Mt Chapman and Mr Hall were also expected to attend ( however they were absent) seems to suggest something more than a Sunday evening dinner party. Dickens had via his invitation detailed the corrections he wanted to make to a particular illustration. Whether Seymour readily and warmly agreed on the alterations without "demure" may be less a reflection of "cordial" agreement than his mental health and hence compliance. Nevertheless, he had worked on the illustration late into Monday night then took his own life. The project continued however with the now-famous Phiz ( to match Boz)- Hablot Knight Browne and the start of a very long and on occasions stormy association with Dickens. The question has, not surprisingly arisen as to whether it was Dickens or the deceased artist who created the entirely guileless older adult Samuel Pickwick. 

Firstly Dickens gave the character, if not the form; hence he can and did claim to the "tender-hearted creation. This collaboration, however, brief should not detract from the synergy that created the character, but it was Dickens and him alone who gave the illustration heart, soul and breath. It was Dickens who depicted a semi-retired businessman of means who was, without doubt, an older adult, and some would argue an old man!  Secondly, the "social significance" of this, Dickens first major comedy at the dawn of the Victorian era provides us with the social and political context in which the newly married twenty-four-year-old novelist's life course progressed. In addition, the character of Pickwick cannot be viewed in isolation from those characters that surrounded him - the key members of the Club- and those whom he met, nor the adventures they and especially Pickwick experienced.

What perhaps strikes us today is how far the youthful Dickens freed from the illustrative constraints of the hapless Seymore and even Phiz, structured a curate's egg of a fable and for the reader then as now " a very bumpy and fragmented experience" featuring a cast of ageing actors including many of the principal characters! It is perhaps the positioning of these middle-aged, even "elderly" personages against the backdrop of Dickens "comic wit, joke an anecdotal" that creates again ( as it did in the Sketches of Boz) an unease and uncomfortableness over his early depictions of age and ageing. The wonderful novelist George Gissing says " stout men of ripe middle age behaving like hilarious schoolboys" Sounds like a night out of middle-aged "boys"  in my local! 

INTRODUCING THE PRINCIPAL CAST THAT MATTER

Samuel Pickwick of course, variously described as an old man

Mr Tracy Upman " a middle-aged bachelor who loves the ladies but is not gifted in the art of seduction"; 

Tony Wheller, father of the inimitable Sam Weller whom Bransly Williams considers " a fine old English gentleman in nature..a great fat old humorist - rough, unlettered, comic old coachman"; 

Mr Wardle " a stout old gentleman " but perhaps of uncertain years as according to some Dickensian scholars ( actual or in their own minds) "old" in this instance was used colloquially and affectionately rather than meaning old in chronological age, Wardle, therefore, may well be under 50 years. Other commentators however have seen him as the "elderly country gentleman" and owner of Dingley Dell. [In later instalments of this series of blogs, I will pick up on the issue of Victorian notions of middle age which had significant relevance personally for Dickens]. Miss Wardle is herself labelled by her brother as " you're fifty if you're an hour" - she thus joins the cast members. But let Dickens reclaim Dickens from the experts who in Chapter Four (PP) introduces the reader to the " few moments in a man's existence, when he experiences so much ludicrous distress, or meets with so little charitable commiserations, as when he is in pursuit of his own hat" The hat belongs to Pickwick; the wheel of the barouche that stops its flight, that of a stout Wardle - of uncertain age but certainly ripe! Seymore's illustration gives little away. Does Wardle's age actually matter? The imagery of text and illustration with the constant use of the prefix "old" the portrayal of the whole Wardle clan and even the spirit of the Wardle's at Christmas, together with how subsequent film adaptations he, for our purposes I include and hence consider, not least because he can be viewed as a positive image of ageing.  

Mrs Bardle however presents, on the balance of probabilities, outside our terms of reference  and was used by Dickens to demonstrate a point rather than a character

Mssrs Dobson and Fogg Attorneys who represented Mrs Bardle are well and truly in our cohort. Fogg "was an elderly, pimply-faced, vegetable diet sort of man" and his partner though less certain perhaps " a plump, portly, stern-looking man with a low voice". The reason I have included him is related to the association of "elderly and portliness" in the context of the character's symbiotic relationship within a comic framework tens to be a little beyond ripe middle age as far as the Dobson character is concerned

Turning to the detail of these individuals and exploring the storylines where chronological age appears to be employed to so-called comic effect, or where the case of the younger and nefarious character, Alfred Jingle, who makes a living out of women, but according to some writers such as Alec Waugh " In Jingle more than anywhere else is his (Dickens) dislike of women, in particular, his cruelty to older women is underlined". In our exploration of Dickens approach to age and ageing can we tentatively tease out his motivation ( mindset?) to his characterizations and identify particular age-related storylines that appear to relate to his "attitudes, values and forms" and that of 19th Century attitudes to age and ageing?  Professor Barbara Hardy helpfully explores Dicken's moral concerns which informed Pickwick and gives to Samuel Pickwick's portrayal of society and the individual "it's unique quality". It is a pastoral novel underpinned by symbolism drawn from Dicken's earlier life course and events ( childhood and early adulthood) thus framing his definition of a good life, and arguably I would along with Hardy argue, through his maturation governed by simplicity and an unconsciously side-stepping of social and psychological complications.  Did Dickens actually ever grow up and find his own ageing comfortable? The ageing characters, so central to this his first "novel" are portrayals without any thought to 19th Century views on ageing, being old and its sociological positioning either generally or specifically as a burgeoning middle class. Pickwick Papers is part fable and again Hardy is right to caution to reading too much into its " mythical renderings" REmmber Dickens was in his twenties portraying ageing and age through that lens, a young writer cutting his teeth on an important, howbeit fairly mundane commissioning from a publishing house. The novel's strengths, as Hardy states are comic. Let us remember that Dickens was throughout his early years and throughout his whole life course an entertainer. Pickwick and old age is for laughs and he used both the grotesque and satire. Jingle portrayed as a comic rogue and Pickwick a comic fool living in a Victorian Camelot and it is important to acknowledge Hardy's insight that this young author exploits the disconnect between the Inset tales and the main narrative in Pickwick Papers - namely misery and celebration of plenty. 

Was age therefore a coincidence? We are reminded of the iconic Workhouse scene of Oliver Twist pleading with the Master "for more" gruel. I will return to this in a later instalment in Part Two when considering Dicken's second novel. 

Pickwick embodies the nieve view of a successful man who has accumulated sufficient wealth to be free of day to day survival. He is an image of who Dickens wants to be surrounded by friends, in an idyllic world of pastoral and rural England. It is interesting to note what many have noted that "there is at least one representative of the Pickwick family in almost every story Dickens wrote, and they are all tender-hearted and somewhat rotund figures"  Dickens was always searching for utopia but probably more importantly a resolution of the conflict of being an entertainer and a truth-teller but if Dickens in his creation of the internal and external ageing benevolent Pickwick was rather fanciful and projecting a future self-image he also had within him, Fagin.

To be continued: 2nd Instalment: Pickwick Papers.

 

THE MANUFACTURING AND MANIPULATION OF LONELINESS IN LATER LIFE

AGE UK GLOUCESTERSHIRE has recently published my blog on Loneliness in Later Life. There are two versions (abridged and unabridged ) together with Rob Fountaine's (CEO) excellent and balanced response to the challenges I have made to how we approach loneliness throughout the United Kingdom. I appreciate that Rob was prepared to publish what is, in fact, a narrative that is not an easy read for many presently engaged in the Loneliness Industry. 

Not surprisingly this provocative blog has received mixed reviews and it could be argued it reflects "Merv Unleashed" and is therefore not for the faint-hearted. It pulls no punches but hopefully, it is respectful to all those thousands of people ( voluntary or paid) working within the field of later life loneliness services whether civic or civil. What it does however argue, is that at a strategic and policy level, we have manufactured and manipulated the most basic of human emotions. It reflects too that much is underpinned by Compassionate Ageism leading to the commodification, monetization and exploitation of older adults.

The blog was written and published before the latest report from the Campaign to EndLoneliness  " The Psychology of Loneliness- Why it matters and what can do" ( July2020). Their Report I highly recommend and goes some way to address the challenges I have laid down. What remains, however, is the need to view loneliness, and certainly chronic loneliness in later life through the lens of human rights, social justice and anti-ageism. I argue that none of the Tackling Loneliness Strategies of England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland have acknowledged or grasped this point. 

The collected blogs are available on:

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/gloucestershire/about-us/news-views-and-opinions--ceos-blog/loneliness-in-later-life/

My Review of Cormac Russell's latest book 'Rekindling Democracy'

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3413525586

Please check out my book review published on the Goodreads website. For those interested in Community Development and Asset Based Community Development  (ABCD) Cormac is a MUST read! 5 stars from me!

JUSTICE OPTIONS FOR OLDER ADULTS: In Praise of Dewis/Choice ( Aberyswyth University. Wales)

Over the decades, I have been involved with a number of older adult projects and initiatives- good, bad and ugly. This blog is about none of these. It is about an outstanding one.

During my time as Director of the UK Better Government for Older Peoples'Programme, the nation of Wales pioneered the world's first Older Peoples' Strategy and in more recent times the Assembly has encouraged and promoted Co-operative approaches to social care provision. I was privileged a few years ago as co-director of the Change AGEnts Co-operative (now Collective) to begin my association with Aberyswyth University's " building justice options with older people examining a multi-agency perspective, justice and human rights for the victim-survivors of elder abuse". It has remained for me personally and professionally a project of inspiration. I have got to know the amazing Dewis/Choice team of individuals from the Department of Law and Criminology led by Sarah Wydall, Principal Investigator and Project Lead.  This blog tells you why.

The Choice Initiative

The overall research aim of Dewis is 'to provide an insight into what influences decision-making in relation to justice provision for victim-survivors of abuse, aged 60+'. Its ethos is to focus on informed choice, medium-risk victim-survivors predicated on a community-designed response, incorporating civic and restorative options. Recovery processes that seek to integrate justice as well as wellbeing working within a statutory infrastructure, providing intensive long term support. This ethos is fundamental. It does not turn survivor victims into clients. It does not pathologise them. And it does not engage on the basis of elder abuse; but, rather finds solutions to the challenges of older adults within the context of domestic violence. It seeks to challenge the notion that older adults have to comply with the 'stereotyping expectations of families, agencies and even researchers in relations to age, gender and victimhood'. 

By promoting exclusion and increasing understanding, 'it provides an insight into what influences decision-making in relation to social justice', given the individual older adult victim-survivors' special circumstances. Dewis uses Participatory Action Research (PAR) to engage with both professionals and the public to co-produce and design new approaches to justice based on restorative principles as a third option to civil (often health and social care dominated), and criminal options. 

So, What is Restorative Justice?

The definition is best summarised as 'a non-adversarial, non-retributive approach to justice that emphasises healing in victims, meaningful accountability of offenders, and involvement of stakeholders, victims, offenders and communities in creating safer communities' (1).  This definition is predicated on a process which leads to older adults moving together towards self and relational transformation, exploring how harm is perceived, needs identified, roles and responsibilities defined, and the interface between them. It seeks to 'involve everyone to the fullest possible extent; who has a stake in the situation and outcome; identify and address the harm that has occurred and identify the obligations that people have to each other' (2).

A critical point that cannot be emphasised enough is that the community takes overall ownership of its own restorative processes (3). The Dewis Project evidences that by bringing stakeholders together, obtaining honest and transparent dialogue, and reaching an agreement over a restorative plan, apologises, living arrangements, monitoring relations, etc., victims of domestic violence can take control, are empowered, and the perpetrator(s) can take responsibility for their actions. The process is intended 'to deal less with direct conflict and harm and more with community building and prevention' (4). This point cannot be stressed enough.

What struck me about Dewis is that it attempts to use restorative justice processes rather than health and social care systems of safeguarding, which can often feed into negative assumptions of age and ageing - namely, sickness, deficit and dependency. It seeks to ensure that those who have or are experiencing domestic violence have power and control. Agencies of health and social care are of course important; but they are placed within the context of criminal justice support, and enable, rather than coerce older adults into service responses or outcomes that are convenient for agency disposal rather than providing sustainable infrastructures for empowerment and long term support.

My reading of the literature around restorative justice has highlighted that, whilst it has been a positive intervention within an individual context, it has been far less successful in addressing the wider challenges in creating healthier communities and, indeed, confronting ageism within this particular demographic. Dewis fully recognises these challenges. It has established across Wales and now hopefully beyond, an approach which transcends dated assumptions about how we think of ageing. Hence my belief that the Project's aims and research findings have the potential to be indeed both transformative for individuals and build healthier communities.

The Dewis/Choice Services

This is best summed up by Sarah Wydall (5). 

• Integrate wellbeing, support and justice
• Discuss and agree on all available options (including criminal, civil and welfare)
• Offer family wellbeing support and meetings to promote positive family relationships
• Ensure people are involved and have a voice in the process
• Promote equal opportunity

Referrals to the Project are via statutory agencies and are allocated to a Support Worker, who explores with the individual a series of options, which include one or more of support, justice, individual and family wellbeing work, or referral to a welfare support agency. Options are chosen by the older adult and the team provide up to twelve months' support; and, if that is what the family requires, they are invited to work with the Choice Practitioner. The research team evaluate the decision-making and the support provided, irrespective of the options chose. This is supported by a training package produced for the community and the practitioners. 

The Priorities and Learning Thus Far

Clearly, empowering older adults is paramount by ensuring their voices are heard - really heard! It is also crucial that they are able to speak freely in a safe space and without coercion. Information is provided in an appropriate form to enable informed decision-making and awareness of their human rights. The key issue here is the older adult must feel that they have obtained justice.

It is interesting that the notion of individuals over 60 years of age do not want to pursue the criminalisation of a relative. Dewis' evidence is to the contrary. 

Another finding relates to help-seeking, which Dewis rightly states is a 'non-linear and continuous journey'. Namely, the older adults' priorities change over time and they become the driver for change. Frequently, too frequently, staff/officers within the criminal justice system hold stereotypical and ageist assumptions, and as the lead investigator Sarah Wydall has written, there is a degree of conforming and performing identities to those workers and organisations. Needs, wishes and support can so often fall outside set models, and it is important to recognise perceptions of justice and health-seeking. In terms of justice, there are some crucial lessons: 

• The courage required to seek help
• That justice practitioners demonstrate empathy
• The experience of criminal justice systems is often negative and mixed when exposed to specialist domestic violence services and responses
• Communication and coordination are key
• Expectations of the criminal justice system
• The myth that older adults do not want to criminalise an abusive relative

The Project thus far has concluded a number of elements. Firstly, that positive working relationships within safeguarding and an Adult Social Care Team is essential. Secondly, the role of the family in collecting evidence, and, in some cases, families providing strong support to the older relative. Thirdly, community engagement is absolutely critical. There is a need to be open about mental health issues. And, penultimately, identifying and recording coercive or controlling behaviours and the complexity of family dynamics. Finally, the use of safeguarding procedures, mental capacity assessments and advanced decisions as methods of abusing the older adult has to be confronted. 

Coercive Control in Later Life

Owing to the Dewis Project, I became aware of the importance coercive control has within the context of domestic violence (6). Here again, I am indebted to Sarah and her presentations, explaining the significance of space in cases where this is a major factor. The home and role of perpetrators evidence the impact of coercive control on decision making and the decision to disclose. There are issues of symbolic and physical separation; and the overwhelming evidence of the risk that abusive behaviour can escalate. 

It is important to explore through the restorative process a negotiation of space and time, and the expectation of liberty and family. The Project explores agency responses which are affected by limited available services. But, in addition, the limited sense of agency; non-faience and constrained space, seeking personal tragedy, and the lack of power of the victim. In providing space Dewis notes the numerous sites of conflict and anxiety, trauma, stress and rumination, the economic and social restrictions, and the sense of injustice within the home, the family, and the service providers. Sensing injustice, Dewis rightly notes is dynamic, partial and ongoing beyond public responses. The construction of gender, age and victimhood into sex, concluding that 'neither social policy nor legal mechanisms are presently equipped to deal with new independence at this point' (7). 

Coercive control is a significant aspect of the so-called elder abuse spectrum; and undermines, invades and destroys a person's sense of identity, self and agency. In addressing this fragmentation, Dewis refers to the importance of home space; the inertia; the internal space within - a meaningful vision of embodied space; restoring the individual to claim their full rights; to occupy space-free from harassment and abuse; and, finally, the 'quality of life and movement does not diminish in a healthy maturity' - states Sarah Wydall.

Joan's Story

I met Joan at a recent steering group meeting at Aberyswyth. Joan's story is one of extreme marital violence and coercive control over many years. She has written and spoken openly of her experience and the importance of the Dewis Project. This is also a story of courage, determination, agency and freedom.

This blog celebrates Dewis, and I conclude it with Joan. I was fortunate enough to interview Joan in my regular Age Speaks show on East London Radio, and I recommend, for those who are interested, to hear directly Joan speaking for herself:

https://www.mixcloud.com/EastLondonRadio/age-speaks-meets-joan-meredith-7.11.19

Significant Acknowledgements

I know it is tempting to skim over the acknowledgements. However, I urge the reader to bear with me until the end. 

I am especially indebted to the presentations and supporting documentation provided over recent years by Sarah. Much of what is written here is either direct quotes or references she has provided. This is also important for me to acknowledge the Dewis team who it has been a privilege to know. I need to also thank Professors John Williams and Alan Clark, both of whom gave me a great deal of support. I also wish to thank all those older adults engaged in this initiative.

The Team

Sarah Wydall, Principal Investigator and Project Lead

Rebecca Zerk, Research Project Manager

Elize Freeman, Service Development Lead and Choice Wellbeing Practitioner

Lucy Birch, Research, Impact and Communications Manager

David Cowsill, Choice Support Worker and Research Assistant

Jose Owen, Cara Fisher and Chris Neville, Choice Support Workers

Tom Chapman, Research Support

The Project presently is funded by the Community Fund UK (Accelerating Ideas) and in addition, Comic Relief funding has enabled the Project to expand, providing a coordinated community response to domestic violence which is coexisting with people living with dementia.

References

1) Friezen, J, and Meek, W, Restorative Justice for Older Adults, Good Books (New York, 2017), p.14

2) Zehr, H, The Little Book of Restorative Justice, Good Books (New York, 2014), p.15. Quoted in Friezen J and Meek W 

3) Ibid, p.17

4) Ibid p.22

5) Wydall, S, presented to the Steering Group, 2018

6) For a detailed explanation of coercive control, please refer to my blog 'Here Kitty Kitty: from Coverture to Coercive Control; The Abuse of Catherine Dickens'. Cooperativemervunleashed.blogspot.com (30.06.19). In addition, I was greatly aided by the publication of Lundy Bancroft 'Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men', Barklay Books, New York (2003)

7) Wydall, S, Williams J, Zerk, R, Presentation on the Significance of Space in Cases of Coercive Control in Later Life (2018)

8) Ibid

Compassionate Ageism: A Curse Within Social Care: Speech given at Hertfordshire Social care Festival 12th November 2019

Recently, I spoke at the Adult Social Care festival of Practice organised by Hertfordshire (ASC, Development Centre in Stevenage, Tuesday 12th November 2019). I was privileged to share the platform with Mr Justice Mumby and professor Bob Hudson. It was a daunting experience given their prestigious national profiles. My subject was listed as 'Compassionate ageism in Care Services', though I had at the outset to reclaim the original title which I had proposed, namely "Compassionate Ageism - a curse within Social Care". 

Whilst I did not write a paper, using only notes and headings, this blog is basically my speech written from those fairly chaotic scribblings which I now hope reflect more or less the performance! 


A TRINITY OF SOURCES


One of the best analyses I have read on the existing social care narrative was recently published by Social Care Futures' (Talking about a Brighter Social Care Future, 2018), written by Neil Crowther.

The second source was the late feminist writer and gerontologist, Betty Friedan, from North America, The Fountain of Age (1993), which, for me, is one of the most influential books on my shelves, introducing me to the concept of Compassionate Ageism and in particular, its pernicious effects on  how we think about age and ageing, and hence the practice of social care.

Finally, a book published only a few months ago, edited by four amazing individuals and with contributions from a number of writers (Rob Mitchell, Elane James, Hannah Morgan, Ian Burgess and Mark Harvey). I was privileged to speak at the London book launch at what I consider a publishing social work sensation (Social Work, Cats and Rocket Science, 2019). It has been said of this book that it has 'been written by social workers who dearly love their work, powerful, hopeful, funny and informative'.

I, therefore, wish to apply the Neil Crowther narrative about social care's injustices in how we think about and communicate compassionate ageism; the challenge of Betty Friedan in understanding the destructiveness of this form of ageism with the inspirational, practical application of what social work is, can be and ought to be in Social Work, Cats and Rocket Science.


REFRAMING THE SOCIAL CARE NARRATIVE AND MESSAGING


We understand, and it is a given, that in general terms, social care lacks adequate financial investment. We accept, too, that there are structural and systemic issues in how it is delivered and carried out and 'the gap between those requiring good support and those accessing it'. In Crowther's view, this is set to get wider.

Both policy and certainly campaigners and the media in highlighting the social care deficit and shortfalls focus on presentations and a narrative of decline, deficit and othering of older adults seeking support. We, and here I speak as an ageing baby boomer, are 'somebody else'. By seeking to appeal to the public and politicians' hearts and minds, existing narratives and messaging is about the plight, negativity, rescue, pity and fatalism. Older adults are a burden, a drain on limited resources, lonely, increasingly living with the risk of dementia, frail and long-term care, whether in the community or institutions, evidence a demographic time bomb, which is at the tipping point of an explosion. What is argued is that we need beds, more beds, and even MORE beds. Let us resource the provision of beds, more nursing and residential care, more home care, more clubs, and all will be well.

This is a pernicious narrative, one that, in my view, has and remains at the heart of present-day social care, third sector effort, and political ambivalence. It is one that blames older adults for the 'care crises', one that rigs our responses to primarily outdated so-called 'responses'. Responses that patronise older adults, infantilises them, and others them. In addition, it too frequently disempowers, removes real choice and control from many social care workers, and ALL older adults. We collude with the plight, negativity, rescue, pity and fatalism, rather than the hope and optimism of citizenship, human rights, ownership, control and, above all, the radicalisation of social care.

Compassion and empathy are important. Even Compassionate Ageism, coined by Robert Binstock (1984) was originally one that led to policies and politics on ageing that benefited older adults through its 'collective concern.' Indeed the very construction of 'an old age welfare state' was facilitated by it. But, over the past half-century, it has arguably become corrupted, which was the Friedan view and social care policy and practice, in this context, is potentially destructive.

Returning to Crowther, the values we hold today and how they are framed need to inspire hope and possibility, but also need to be regarded as a certainty. We need a more collaborative and cooperative social care model. The ethics and values of social care/work that underpin practice has to communicate a set of different values, a different vision, a different underpinning in the context of age and ageing, and a narrative adopted professionally of social care and by the public. 'The messaging of organisations campaigning for reform and spending on social care and the consequent impact on public thinking is at the heart of the problem concludes Crowther.

My questions to all of us engaged in some way in adult social care is: where is the power, ownership and benefit held? Where are the voices of discontent, indeed who are the social care professionals that silence the voices of those wanting to reshape the narrative? Crowther has articulated the story we want to tell and the dominant framing that has allowed Westminster to dither and delay and put off the Social Care Green Paper. What is worse is my fear that, if that consultation paper ever sees the light of day, it will be based on the very negative framing of which Crowther warns!


A CURSE ON ALL OUR SOCIAL CARE HOUSES


Compassion is biased and tends to tilt assessments and subsequent actions and outcomes that benefit the agency's commissioning and provision of services. It is about feeling good about ourselves as financial managers or gatekeepers, charity trustees, elected politicians, practitioners, volunteers. God help us! We think celebrity endorsement of our third sector objectives/purpose is a cherry atop a cake of stale ingredients, which is consumed with gratitude, as little alternatives are on the menu.

"Ageism in broad terms is 'complicated'. Ageism is not equivalent to sexism and racism; there is no one group discriminatory against another. Younger people can be discriminated against, as can older adults. Indeed we are all, throughout our lives, oppressed by ageism, by dominant expectations about age, expectations that dictate how we behave and relate to each other"  writes Bill Bytheway ( Ageism in Age and Ageing Ed. Malcolm Johnson 2005) 

Little, however, is mentioned about Compassionate Ageism, though we are increasingly becoming familiar with the Decline System of New Ageism. The economic drain of older adults on society, time bombs, demographic tsunamis, the boomers robbing of generations x/millennials, the innocent absorption of cultural signals, youthful age anxiety, and so-called 'middle ageism' dominates ageing narratives (Gullett, M, 2013). Where is the notion of how compassion compromises human rights, wellbeing, belonging, citizenship and hope? We are blinded to the potentially pernicious consequences of our social care actions and responses. All of us in this room is at risk of colluding with the pretence that our practice is without prejudice, myths and stereotypes about older adult users - nay, older adults generally. Eligibility criteria, resource constraints, case demands and our internalised cultural attitudes to and about older adults shape our responses. Compassionate Ageism demonises and commodifies ageing, leading to a belief that we are doing what is in their best interests. It leads to systemic stereotyping and discrimination against people we deem older. It is the offensive exercise of social care power in reference to age. It oppresses. It is a social construct. All evidenced by and through both our behaviour and language-imaging, negative narratives and communications which dehumanise and depersonalise. It sees our older adult 'users' as victims and vulnerable, and it pathologises and others. Older adults become somebody else! Evidence? Look at case notes, care plans and minutes.

Compassionate Ageism is a curse dressed up as concern and as sympathy. As a professor of Social Gerontology Tom Scharf (Newcastle University) coined, 'benevolent patronage'. Compassion exists and here's the rub - it exists in the minds and attitudes of older adults themselves. Older adults 50yrs plus are essentially the same and worthy of government assistance. The notion of  "silver or grey" power is a myth. We see older adults as goodies or baddies (deserving or undeserving, needy and desperate, requiring special policies). It is a time of loss and decline. Ageing celebrity endorsements have in my view, distorted the narrative around loneliness, dementia, social isolation and poverty.

Compassionate Ageism sees:

- Older adults as a problem = they are somebody else
- Dependency, sickness and deficit = plight
- Imaging = negativity (decline) eg images of wrinkly hands
- We must do something = rescue
- Age has to be avoided = pity

Plight, pity, decline and rescue - beware! A rescuer can easily become the persecutor, and good intentions, risk assessments, safeguarding policies, care homes, day centres, eligibility criteria, home care, budgets, financial management, and adult social care generally, become, in reality, oppression.


FROM OPPRESSION TO "LIBERTY" - THE ANTIDOTE


The third and final source on which I have drawn for this presentation is the recent publication Social Work, Cats and Rocket Science (1919). The authors reflect in my view a different pathway and value base, which moves the narrative from hopelessness to hope. It is a narrative of ambition and a belief in a better social care future for adults - especially older adults. It is a narrative of opportunity and freedom. We move from the rhetoric of  'personalisation and co-production' and professional/political grandstanding to the reality of outcomes that people actually want.

Earlier we explored Neil Crowther's analysis of the importance of language, messaging and communication. We now look at the importance of upholding respect for the inherent dignity, equality, and worth of all people. Upholding social justice and human rights and, quoting judge James Mumby, 'being a servant, not a master'. To this I would add: not being a jailor to a prisoner of social care or work bondage.

Much is said and written these days about loneliness epidemics, dementia tsunamis, mental incapacity and frailty. I urge you to read chapter one of Social Work, Cats and Rocket Science. In fact, I urge you to read all the chapters. Read Mavis's story. It is a familiar one, one that was evident in the late 1960s when I first started my social work career. And it is evident in November 2019, as I stand behind this lectern. To quote two sentences, 'We are guests in people's lives, and it is not always benign or good.' And 'social care is about standing up for peoples' rights, to have a right to a home and a private family life'. To Liberty!

Mavis died in her sleep, waiting to return to her home, with her lifelong partner. Her husband was the eighth person to be informed of her death.

The years, months or days remaining to an older adult is of value: everyone is capable of exercising choice and everyone has a right to participate in society. So what is the nature of wellbeing, of social justice, of choice and control? On what grounds are they denied? What are the existing protections in place? I leave these provocations with you.

I have, over the years, given and heard eulogies at funerals, and frequently thought that they provide more information on the deceased than ever obtained on the living through social care assessments and processes. Knowing the person, not the labels, of loneliness, dementia and frailty is written large. It's not rocket science!

" THE JOY OF SEX BEYOND 70" ROYAL COLLEGE OF NURSING EVENT PRESENTATION ( 23.09.19)

Recently I shared a platform with three amazing panel members at a joint event between the RCN and RCN Foundation.  It has been many a year since I spoke or published on sexuality in later life. I was flanked by Dawne Garrett, RCN Professional Lead in the Care of Older people and Dementia; Lynne Segal Anniversary Professor of Psychology & Gender Studies at Birbeck, the University of London and author of  "Out of Time: The Pleasures and Perils of  Ageing" and  Esther Wislerlake whose day job is manager of a dementia day service specialising in non-pharmaceutical intervention when managing the Behaviour Psychological Symptoms of Dementia. In her spare time, Esther writes about the complexity of managing sexuality within care settings. She spoke to the audience by  "gently lifting the lid of Pandora's box by introducing us to, the silent K"

My own focus was to explore two areas seldom discussed within the Age Sector: Older Sex Workers and the Pornography Industry and Porn use and engagement by older adults. 

The event was chaired and facilitated by Tammy WhyNot (a very unique experience). Each speaker was given 8minutes to present to which surprisingly I was compliant. What follows, therefore, is the pre-prepared full text, most of which went unsaid given the time constraint, but hopefully, you may find of interest. 

THE CONTEXT AND THE "MISSING VOICES"

We are increasingly beginning to explore, understand and respond to the issues of ageing and wellbeing in the context of sexuality, sex and intimacy. Most of us would probably agree that sex has been a neglected issue in much gerontologic research. There are of course some notable exceptions. What research, however, has been undertaken is inclined to focus on sexual activity and sexual health, but what is encouraging, but not surprising, given the age demographic, is the role and meaning of sex in new intimate late-in-life relationships.

Sex, however, is frequently framed in terms of the ideology of LOVE whereby causal sexual adventures are frowned upon and views about the sexual behaviour of young adults/adolescents perceived as being less healthy than that of older adults.

What is frequently absent is research incorporating the voices and views of older adults themselves. Asking older adults their views, opinions, experiences and attitudes with regard to their sexuality and activity. It is important here in the context of tonight, to respect a wish not to engage, not to be ambushed and Dawne, in her presentation rightly emphasised the absolute necessity of permissions, contexts, cultures and belief systems. The ethics of researchers ensure the protection of these obligations, but too frequently outside that construct, people can be coerced into "a confession based" interaction. 

Those older voices that have been sought however seems to show:

• Older women describe male sexuality as simple and pleasure orientated - but men tended to actually subscribe to the same ideology of LOVE as the female adult.
• Sexual interest and activity is rekindled in new relationships and frequently seen as sexually better than previous relationships
• The importance of sexual self-realization (especially older adult women)
• Marriage was not seen as important for having a sexually intimate relationship
• Sex, however, was not entirely liberalized, but framed in an ideology of love.

AREAS SELDOM EXPLORED

 1. PROSTITUTION AND  OLDER SEX WORKERS: A Co-operative approach

Susan Davis is the Leader of the West Coast Co-operative of Sex Industry Professionals (Canada) and thought of forming a sex worker co-operative following her meeting with members of India's thriving. It started back in 1995 and now has 65,000 members. Its purpose was to " promote their quality of life at a number of levels and is good for the morale of everybody and particularly to minimize the potential risks in sex work". 

Davis has been an escort for 25 years and evidence that being a Co-operative provides:

• Control of working conditions and safety
• Profits that benefits the workers
• Scholarships for sex workers
• Loans 
• Employment opportunities for those wishing to exit sex work. 

The legal framework and criminalization related to "living off immoral earnings" present serious barriers within Canada and of course the United Kingdom in establishing Co-operative development. That said we need to acknowledge that the scale and engagement of older adults working within the sex industry generally are, as far as I know, unknown. In addition, when I asked my contacts within the Co-operative Sector some while ago, I was informed that there were no sex industry co-operatives or Collectives. Should there be? Absolutely, but would need to confront and dismiss what is illegal but not fall over some arcane outdated moral judgement and attitude to that which is lawful. The issue of lawful pornography and older workers within this industry and/or those older adults viewing it is my next discussion point

2. "DIRTY OLD MEN AND WOMEN AND THEY": PORNOGRAPHY

 Pornography is generally defined as "visual depictions that are intended to sexually arouse the viewer" ( Tarrant S The Pornography Industry 2016). Regardless of the medium, the challenge in defining the term, as Tarrant points out is that one person's pornography may seem like hate speech to the next. What is the difference between erotica and porn? Some argue that pornography "reflects patriarchal hegemony or abusing the other, while erotica depicts sex among equals and thus free of subjugation." In short, pornography is about dominance: erotica mutuality. 

If we reflect on the negative attitudes and stereotypes towards and about older adults and ageing, no wonder there has been so little exploration of this area of engagement and behaviour.  Past and existing attitudes towards older women they are multiply dammed, men simply get away with simply being regarded as "a dirty old man". The mere use of the word pornography evokes negative reactions, let alone to those older adults actively engaged and participating in the industry. Tarrant says " the ubiquitous presence of pornography is a rich source for studying the ways in which ideas about gender, race, class, beauty, and sex are constructed, conveyed and maintained." She adds " Pornography is an important media category for questioning normative expectations exploring forms of resistance that challenge racism, classism and ageism" (italics mine)

Is pornography a crime, a sin, a vice or a choice?  "It cuts to the heart of sexual pleasure, sexual danger, censorship, coercion and personal agency" (Tarrant again)

Let me ask a question. How far is pornography discussed and a source of sex education within the sex and wellbeing literature, guidance and pr retirement workshops by employers? How far is it a subject of discussion in day centres, residential care, Older adult Forums between sing songs, bingo and Any Other Business? 

Dawne Garrett and my dear friend Shirley Ayres ( sitting in the audience) have for some time been discussing a publication ( Journal article?) on a whole range of sex and sexuality in later life. Being a recent convert to social media ( in part Shirley's fault) I checked out Twitter accounts related to sex, sexuality, pornography and dating sites for the over 50's. I'm not particular;y an innocent, but I was surprised by the breadth and scope- all tastes catered for, but that said, I was convinced that the engagement of older adults regardless of genders, sexual orientation and preferences actively engaged as performers in the pornographic industry and/or  engaged in viewing was an issue worth exploring in the context of public health, mental health,  wellbeing, relationships, addiction. The free and easy availability of porn via social media is rightly well researched with regard to child protection, but it is necessary to explore its impact on older adults, not necessarily in the context of safeguarding ( though that said, it does raise some interesting issues in that regard re MCA) but in addressing sex and ageism, sex and wellbeing, sex that is free from moral judgement, sex and social media, sex and so-called sex toys, sex and health, sex that is, for the over 70's a joy!

Finally, as I was reminded recently, the rejection of sexual activity, however, defined is and remains in the control of each and every one of us.


[Sources: I have avoided lengthy footnotes or references, but are available on request.DM me @Merv.ChangeAGEnt]

  

"Here, Kitty, Kitty": From Coverture to Coercive Control; the Abuse of Catherine Dickens

This new extended blog seeks to examine the abuse and cruelty of Catherine Dickens (Nee Hogarth) by her world-famous author husband. In doing so, highlight Charles Dickens' behaviour towards Catherine in the context of the Victorian notion of coverture and the twenty first century term of coercive control.


It is my contention that she played out her life with Dickens in the 'white noise of coercive control, ever-present and ever-threatening. Catherine's strength to live with this and to function daily in a range of domestic and social settings - to survive - was enormous and courageous' 1.

Mr Dickens: A Demon in Plain Site?

Even the most casual student of Charles Dickens' life cannot fail to be disappointed at his public persona and outstanding literary accomplishments in journals and novels should be at such variance with the man and the husband. Even by today's standards, he is probably no different than many a famous public figure, and would certainly apply to countless 'ordinary people in personal relationships who behave repeatedly in a way that makes their partner feel 'controlled, dependent, scared and isolated' 2.

Arguably, Dickens was not, as far as we know, violent towards Catherine, but he did attempt to use his considerable influence and contacts to get a doctor to sanction her admission into a 'lunatic asylum'. This was in no way a casual 'nod and wink' to a friendly doctor, but a serious and nearly successful attempt to lock Catherine away on the spurious grounds of 'mental disorder'. Bending the law to his will was clearly not beyond Dickens' reach, and why not, when his best friend, Edward Buluer Lytton, had 'successfully plotted to have his wife Rosina seized, certified insane and incarcerated in a private asylum' for three weeks 3. Many Dickens scholars and biographers have written about his appalling behaviour towards Catherine pre and post Ellen Turner affair, but it was the so-called 'Violated Letter' of 1858 attempting to 'discredit' Catherine 4, that led to a shocked reaction and best-summed up by Elizabeth Barrett Browning to say 'What a dreadful letter that was! And what a crime for a man to use his genius as a cudgel... Against the woman he promised to protect tenderly with life and heart'. Barrett Browning goes on to add 'taking advantage of his hold with the public to turn public opinion against her. I call it dreadful' 5.  There was an attempt by Catherine to mitigate against the letter's authenticity, but the damage had already been done 6. The attempt to publicly discredit, belittle, degrade and intimidate Catherine are examples, I would argue, of coercive control 7.

Returning to Dickens' attempt to 'put Catherine away', it is important to stress the broader context during the Victorian era. By publicly stating that Catherine was suffering from a mental disorder was 'sufficient for a certificate of moral insanity to be drawn up' 8.

Miriam Margolyes claims that Charles Dickens 'terrified and depressed' Catherine and uncompromisingly refers to his mental cruelty and that his own relations with women were all damaged, incomplete or destructive'. She goes on to observe that 'Miss Haversham (Great Expectations) was Dickens himself' 9. Surprisingly, Margolyes says of Dickens that 'his humanity descends his cruelty' - really!

Dickens' depiction of women has been scrutinised during the past two hundred or so years, and this is not the place to explore in detail over and above acknowledging that 'when it came to the problem of man/women relationships, he was severely hampered, not only by the attitudes of his age', but as Holbrook says, 'his emotional makeup and psychic pattern' 10. It is, however, timely before we look at the notion later of Coverture to name-check firstly the works of Isba, Claire Tomalin and Lillian Nayder. I have deliberately referenced three female Dickens scholars. My reasoning being that, in any explanation of the relationship between Dickens the abuser and Catherine the abused, I am anxious that any interpretation of that relationship is gender-sensitive, ensuring her agency in the context of both Coverture and coercive control.

Anne Isba argues that Charles 'infantilised' Catherine who, despite bearing him ten children, 'before being dumped', references 'the weird relationship Dickens had with his sister in law Mary'. For readers unfamiliar with this 'weird relationship', I quote the following by Isba from Dickens in a letter to Lavimia Watson a year before he broke up with Catherine and at the height of his wooing (I might say grooming) Ellen Ternan his eighteen year old mistress.

I wish I had been born in the days of ogres and dragon-guarded castles... I wish an ogre with seven heads had taken the princess who I adore - you have no idea how intensely I love her! - to his stronghold on the tip of a high series of mountains and there tied her up by the hair. Noting would suit me half so well this day, as climbing after her, sword in hand, and either winning her or being killed. 11

The 'princess' is obviously Mary Hogarth (sister in law); the 'sword in hand' - let's leave it there! Remember Mary died in Dickens' arms at the age of seventeen years, and he repeatedly during his marriage to Catherine referred back to her sister not infrequently, comparing Mary to Catherine, and wanted to be buried next to her. Weird? In the context of coercive control, perhaps not! Isbar also references Dickens' 'infatuations with teenage girls and his fantasies of being a hero of young (attractive) women' 12.

There are for our purpose two important books by Dickens scholars. Claire Tomalin, firstly her book Invisible Women (1990), which is about the relationship with Ellen Ternan and its impact on Catherine, and indeed Charles' behaviour towards her and her children, especially the fate of Plorn. Secondly, her seminal biography Charles Dickens: A Life (2012). When writing about the year 1858, Tomalin says 'you want to avert your eyes from a good deal of what happened'. She evidences Dickens' 'unforgiving callousness towards his children, and even egregious attitude towards Catherine' 13. Tomalin also writes that Dickens' physical deterioration which 'most if not all writers dramatically deteriorated in the 1860s'.She speculates, and the author David Abrams agrees, that his 'unspecified but unpleasant and persistent symptoms were, by the way, most-likely gonorrhoea 14. Dickens' children claimed that their father 'behaved like a madman... And saw their mother humiliated'.

That callousness is picked up in Tomalin's Invisible Woman, with regard to Plorn, who was 'unwillingly packed off to Australia' in the late 1860s and only two years prior to Dickens' death. Plorn was sixteen years old! Tomalin is quite right to point out that 'even in the circumstances of Victorian family life and economics are taken into account, it seems a harsh way of treating a not very bright boy' 15. In fact, Dickens during this period denied Catherine three of her sons who were forced to leave England. She, however, as Nadir points out, despite her powerlessness to stop Dickens, 'ensured she spent time with each of them and wrote frequently, and at length, until her death in 1879' 16. Isolating a mother from her children is a behaviour common in coercive control.

Certainly between 1858 through to Dickens' death in 1870, the Dickens household and relationships fractured, and whilst the Ellen Ternan affair was perhaps a catalyst, there is an argument that Ellen herself as a seventeen year old child was also a victim of Dickens narcissistic (NPD), bipolar and, some would say, sociopathic personality. I suppose the debate or conjecture about Dickens' own mental health and personality will forever continue to explain his cruelty; but it is time to look at Dickens through the lens of Victorian Coverture and Catherine's experience of it.



The Principle of Coverture: Catherine's Subordination to Dickens

I am particularly indebted to Helen Picolli via Twitter (@Helen88811) who, during a Twitter thread, introduced me to Lillian Nadirs, The Other Dickens. Helen was responding to my Tweet 'on this day I reflect on Mrs Catherine (Kate) Dickens (1815-1879)', her fortitude, her determination and above all her strength as a daughter, a wife, as a friend. I reflect, too, on her being the victim of coercive control by her A-lister celebrity husband (#IWD2019). Helen quotes Nayder in that she debunks this tale in retelling it, wrestling away from the famous novelist the power to shape his wife's story. She demonstrates that Dickens' marriage was a long and happy one 17. We took the discussion offline via a series of DMs, and I read the book which I have liberally quoted here and elsewhere. The book is indeed a powerful piece of scholarship and reflected my long standing view that Catherine Dickens' story was totally constructed by Dickens. That said, I had never seen Catherine as weak and disorganised or lacking in resilience, but, at the same time, I acknowledged that Victorian values and norms permitted and even expected that wives would be subordinate in all things to their husbands - 'the logic of coverture' 18. Nayder deviated from the other Mrs Dickens to her memory. I named my pet pug in her memory, too!

Quoting Nayder, 'coverture signifies a woman's dependence on and subordination to her husband, as well as his obligation to protect or to cover her. More specifically, it stipulated that a woman's legal selfhood was subsumed by that of her husband upon marriage, when they became 'one person'' 19. A wife could not have a legal identity in her own right, losing agency, autonomy, self-determination and control. No wonder Dickens loved hypnotising her and other women in his controlling orbit. He may not have just been weird; but, he was certainly a control freak!

Under coverture, Catherine took her role as his wife and mother very seriously. Frequently, and perhaps even always, 'subordinating her identity and duties as a mother to those belonging more strictly to Dickens' wife when asked to do so' 20. Dickens would, from their early days, also take his responsibilities under Coverture seriously. He was, by nature, an obsessively controlling and micromanaging man, and my impression, reading Nadir et al, is that he should have really married a pug, for Catherine was certainly no 'stubborn donkey'. He treated and referred to her in those early years of marriage as if she were a pet (e.g. my beloved), encouraging her to always be at his beck and call, meeting his demands, even excessive requirements, and to accommodate him in ALL things. Coverture did not sanction such behaviour. She had 'an identity that acknowledged her worth, but as an object of affection, tracing her value to a source outside herself, her husband's feelings and perceptions' 21. Nayder, however, is absolutely correct in her observation that 'Dickens' identity as the Inimitable 'allowed for almost any kind of behaviour, but the 'Beloved' is a restraining sobriquet, prescribing a narrow range of behaviour, and revocable at Dickens' will' 22. Had Catherine been a pug, one could just imagine being taken by Dickens on one of his numerous long walks, being let off the leash and him calling out, 'here, kitty, kitty!'.

Catherine may have been the 'Beloved of her husband', but she was Catherine Hogarth and Nadir powerfully reclaims her as such. In addition, she was mother, sister, daughter, niece - and these roles she did not relinquish, and Coverture did not 'grant Dickens the power to erase or subsume her as such' 23.

Her motherhood was a given, but Coverture did require her to give Dickens priority. The ability of Catherine to negotiate, to ignore, and on occasions to contest this, and even to thwart her husband, reinforces the recuperation of Catherine Hogarth. Nevertheless, Coverture did play a significant part, not just on the couple of occasions he attempted to hypnotise her, but generally in her 'selfless submission to him' 24.

During their marriage, Catherine would act as Dickens proxy in matters related outside the husband-wife relationship; but even then she herself realised that that proxy did not out-proxy that of his male proxies. Dickens frequently overruled her decisions, thus undermining the so-called authority he had given her. Catherine, not surprisingly, was 'weary' when Dickens urged her to judge for herself - to consider matters in her own eyes and follow the 'influence of her own heart (Pilgrim Letters 7225) - knowing her word was not the last in most matters' 25. Coverture did not 'sanction' humiliation, undermining and violence as we will explore later; but, it did (as always) nourish over countless generations the abusiveness of countless men. Coercive control?

There are a number of examples from Dickens' extensive network of married acquaintances and friends who, whilst also living with coverture, found Dickens, at best, unreasonable and at worse abusive in his application of it, not least of which the Hogarth family, which came to a head in the Ellen Ternan affair. It is important to remember that whilst coverture was institutionalised and an obligation, the husband had an obligation to protect his wife from ill treatment and certainly not be the perpetrator of it. Dickens certainly did not materially neglect Catherine. He did, however, limit her powers of decision making, expression and, arguably, her 'significance as a person in her own right' 26. He was duplicitous, a liar, deceiver, trickster, humiliater, and overall, in David Adams' description, 'an arse' 27.

When in 1858 Catherine eventually signed a deed of separation drawn up by Dickens and his solicitors, it was primarily a financial contract, but it did not, as Nadir points out, 'violate the principle of coverture' 28. A judicial, civic separation required proof of Dickens' wrong-doing, which she did not have. The settlement was considered generous but Catherine arguably remained under coverture by two male trustees who would provide her with the required guardianship. Open access to her children was written in the deed, but this did not stop Dickens denying her freedom to when and how.

Coverture, however, provided cover to the continual Othering of women; and, whilst during the Victorian era their 'role improved considerably', and legislation safeguarded a number of rights, it was clear that Dickens had no concept of 'the new woman'. His behaviour towards Catherine is rightfully considered cruel and abusive. There have been a number of writers who have sought to give Catherine agency in her own right. Coverture is a curious legal doctrine and without doubt limited a married woman's rights. It dates back to medieval times and through to the Victorian. Through these epochs, many women 'creatively used or subverted Coverture' 29. Coverture was, however, a legal fiction in that a husband and wife are one person in this doctrine, but was enshrined in Common Law. It was during the mid 1800s however that it came under increasing criticism as oppressive towards women. Had Charles Dickens turned his considerable reforming influence and focus to the words of his own creation... Mr Bumble (Oliver Twist) when informed that 'the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction', he replies 'if the law supposes that... The law is an (sic) arse - an idiot. If that's the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is that its eye may be opened by experience' 30.

As a common doctrine and in her own way, Catherine was at ease with nineteenth century Coverture, but probably based upon the relationships within the Hogarth family experienced as a child growing up with her parents and siblings. Her experience however living with an 'angry and controllable husband' was to be of an entirely different order. It is now time to explore Charles Dickens through the twenty first century lens of coercive control.





Coercive Control: Inside the Mind of the 'Inimitable'31



As I was indebted to Helen Picolli and the author Lillian Nayder in the previous section, I am now indebted to Joan Merideth and the work of the Choice Project at the University of Aberystwyth Wales, and the author Lundy Bancroft 32 33. Coercive control is a term developed by Evan Stark and refers to 'a pattern of behaviour which seeks to take away the victim's liberty or freedoms, to strip away their sense of self. It is not just women's bodily integrity that is violated but their human rights' 34. Abuse is not simply about one-off or repeated acts of physical violence, it incorporates a whole range of behaviours. And, using Stark's rationale in coining the term, it 'explains a range of tactics used by perpetrators and the impacts of those actions on victims/survivors. It is 'how men entrap women in everyday life'' 35. It is furthermore not mental abuse.

There are a number of signs that would be associated with coercive control. Those of particular importance in our Dickens discussion are:

• Monitoring activities with family and friendship networks
• Repeatedly checking up on you
• Questioning your behaviour and decisions
• Setting deadlines for your return home if visiting relatives and friends
• Isolating you from those relatives and friends; and/or
• Choosing your friends and acquaintances
• Controlling what you spend and how you spend it
• Controlling or negatively disparaging comments on what you wear and how you look
• Telling you what you should eat
• Putting you down in public
• Getting angry at the slightest little thing
• Creating an environment both within the family home or outside it where you are in constant fear of upsetting him
• You have to do things in a particular way or they get angry with you
• Your needs are secondary to his



Adapted from learning mind - 20 signs of coercive control that reveal you are being manipulated in a relationship, 2019

Obviously, some of these behaviours and others may be contextualised as other offences, as well as coercive control. Today, these would and could be treated as criminal offences 36. It is important to stress that coercive control is when a person with whom you are personally connected repeatedly behaves in a  way that makes you feel controlled, dependent, isolated or scared 37.

Did Catherine Dickens feel controlled, dependent, isolated or scared? Was Catherine Dickens alarmed or distressed by the inimitable behaviours? Did it cause her to alter how and when she socialised? The key question is, was Dickens' behaviour simply a reflection of the institutionalisation of nineteenth century coverture? If this were so, then, arguably, he cannot be criticised in the twenty first century, behaving as he did due to cultural relativity. Even with a cursory knowledge of Dickens the husband set against the coercive control signs listed above, should we argue that the nineteenth century lack of human rights, the notion of coverture and coercive control is a somewhat academic argument? Some might even say naïve. Regardless, it is my contention that custom and practice, legislated or not, did not make policy of a given custom right. Coverture was such a custom and exists even today.

Bancroft reminds us that there are presently millions of women who have never been beaten 'but who live with repeated verbal assaults, humiliation, sexual coercion and other forms of psychological abuse' 38. Here, he evidences that abusing men can and do have 'many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth and humour, especially in the early period of a relationship... He has a successful work life... And when she feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her husband is an abuser' 39. Reading Bancroft's introduction and section 'The Tragedy of Abuse' he could be talking about Dickens and Catherine's experience of him, and what is crucial is his point that 'the woman also sees that her partner is a human being who can be caring and affectionate at times' 40. 1858 for both Dickens and Catherine may have been a watershed when the mask of Dickens was removed, showing the nakedness of his cruelty and viciousness.

Dickens never did anything he considered morally unacceptable; he had a distorted sense of right and wrong; and his value system (coverture) was unhealthy. Regardless of his journalistic and writing success, his behaviour towards Catherine did not improve 41. What was the Dickens reality? Dickens was without a doubt controlling; he felt under coverture 'entitled'; he twisted things into their opposites; he disrespected Catherine and considered himself superior to her; he confused love and abuse; he was manipulative; he obsessively sought a good public image; he felt justified; he denied and minimised his abuse; he was possessive. He in fact ticked every single box in Bancroft's analysis of the abusive mentality 42.

There are two areas worth a brief mention: addiction and sex. There is no evidence as far as I can tell with regards to alcohol, but we know he was a workaholic and that he had an addictive personality. With regard to sex, we are aware he regularly visited prostitutes and, according to some biographers, his sexual activities with Catherine, if judged by Nadir, was loving. I am not sure if this was necessarily true. Addiction takes many forms, and we will perhaps never know how he looked at sex over and above he refers to it in typical Victorian doublespeak and code in his letters. Sex, however, to Dickens was about meeting HIS needs. It was in all probability Catherine's responsibility to have sex with him when he wanted and it was her job. Coverture to a large extent 'considered that marriage is the moment her body transferred to his ownership' 43.

We know that sex is a way of establishing power and dominance. Did Dickens de-personalise Catherine? Was Dickens sexually aroused by Mary Hogarth, Georgina Hogarth and others? He clearly was by Ellen Ternan. Were there real or fantasy relationships with prostitutes and others a way of humiliating Catherine? These are questions of Dickens scholars to untangle; but they are also questions that need to be viewed in the context of not just relationships of the nineteenth century but of the twenty first. The Victorian court of opinion brought into Dickens own narrative, that his early biographers were seduced by the public image Dickens portrayed. He hid his abuse in plain site. His celebrity status determined the narrative. That narrative over the past two or three decades has rightly been seen to be a myth; and I would personally argue that his continued literary acclaim and belief that 'his humanity transcends his cruelty' 44 in no way excuses this most angry and controlling of nineteenth century famous men.

Catherine Hogarth did indeed live during her marriage years and up until her death in the white noise of coercive control. She did so with fortitude and courage. In my view, it is she who is to be celebrated and admired. It is her voice that needs to be heard loud and clear.

References

1) Adapted from Scottish Women's' Aid. What is coercive control? CEAR network website (undated) 'coercive control is the white noise against which she plays out her life; ever present, ever threatening. The strength to live with this and to function daily in a range of settings - to survive - is enormous and courageous'.

2) www.learning.mind.com 20 signs of coercive control that reveal you are being manipulated in a relationship

3) Bowen, J, Our Mutual Friend, Times Literary Supplement (19th Feb, 2019)

4) Pilgrim 8: 740, Letters of Charles Dickens

5) Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 5th October 1858, Maggs Brothers Catalogue (Summer, 1922, quoted in Pilgrim 8: 648-49, No. 4)

6) For a detailed account refer to the excellent Lillian Nayder's recent publication "The Other Dickens: A Life of Catherine Hogarth", Cornell University Press, Ithaca, London, 2011, PP268-272

7) Goddard S, 10 ways to spot coercive control. Abuse does not have to be physical. Cosmopolitan 240718

8) Sotherland J, Victorian Fiction: Writers, Publishers, Readers in Boweng, (Ibid)

9) Margoyles and Fraser S, Dickens' Women, quoted CHITOLN, culture editor, The Telegraph Book Review, 26012016

10) Holbrook D, Charles Dickens and the Image of Women. First edition. New York, New York University Press (1993), cited in essays. UK (November, 2018). How Dickens depicts women. Retrieved from HTPS://www.ukessays.com/essays/english/literature/charles-dickens-depicts-women-3864.php? vref=1. Author not cited.

11) Isba, Dickens' Women: His Wife and Loves (date not referenced)

12) Ibid, cited in Chilton Martin

13) Tomalin C, Charles Dickens: A Life (London, 2012), cited in Abrams David. The Dark Side of Dickens. MASTODON: SUBMIT. 7022012. Here, Abrams writes 'it is a truth universally acknowledged that CD was a genius, but CD the man was an arsehole'

14) Ibid, Tomalin and Abrams D

15) Ibid, Tomalin, cited in Nayder The Other Dickens. Footnote 86, Invisible Woman

16) Ibid, Nayder L, p287

17) Ibid, Nayder, p2

18) Ibid, Nayder, p2

19) Ibid, Nayder, p19

20) Ibid, Nayder p21

21) Ibid, Nayder, p103

22) Parker D, The Doughty Street Novels. (New York, AMS Press, 2002), cited in Nayderl, p103

23) Ibid, Nayder p103

24) Ibid, Nayderl, p117

25) Ibid, Nayder, p219

26) Ibid, Nayder, p223

27) See footnote reference 13 above

28) Ibid, Nayder, p251

29) Stretton T, Kesseliring KJ, (author and editors), Married Women and the Law: Coverture in England and the Common Law World (Montreal, 2013, p15)

30) Shapiro (2006), p197-8

31) Title inspired by Bancroft L, Why does he do that? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men. Berkeley Books (New York, 2002)

32) The Choice Project (Aberystwyth University). I heard Joan speaking when I attended a meeting of the Choice Steering Group (29/03/19). Her story as the wife of a controlling partner. It was powerful and the choice project introduced me to the reality of coercive control

33) Ibid, Bancroft L. Lundy Bancroft has spent many years specialising in domestic abuse and the behaviour of abusive men, and was former co-director of Emerge, the USA's first program for abusive men. He at the time of writing practised in Massachusetts

34) Ibid

35) Ibid

36) Came into force on 29th December 2015 and only applies to behaviour that occurred after this date

37) Coercive control and the law: rights of women: helping women through the law (Feb, 2016)

38) Ibid, Bancroft L, p8

39) Ibid, p9

40) Ibid, p9

41) For a summary, Bancroft listed in detail seventeen myths about abusive men, pp23-4. Out of the seventeen, twelve could apply to Dickens

42) Ibid, Bancroft, pp49-75

43) Ibid, Bancroft, p175

44) Ibid, Margoyles M, 26th January 2016